Hello. This is a partially (mostly?) friends-locked blog. =)
I am usually not too particular about adding friends if you leave a comment on one of the public posts.
thank you. n_n
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It's *oretty*
but I doubt I can wear it on the train without people staring. Since it's nice and large. And I don't have the Alice look. T__T
still. Three and a half hours! And less than 4 dollars = alice bow. muahahaha. What do these people pay 50 dollars+shipping for? =DD
Instead of using cloth to bind the bow, I used a piece of lace to tie in instead, since my cloth was cut to the wrong measurements or something. >.<
Tomorrow I'll start sewing the skirt. By hand. Since my sewing machine's not working. I sewed the alice bow by hand too. >.<
Without spectacles. <.<<<
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Many things happened today.
And very little happened today.
If you understand what I say, you understand everything there is to me.
Today on the train, tears came to my eyes from *no reason* whatsoever. Then I realised I was listening to Chou. o.O
Horrible, horrible, customers.
HORRIBLE.
Die in a fire.
Gosh, there was this customer who expected us to serve them on our LUNCH BREAK. Hello. We punched out the card. We're not working during that time. Wth are you asking us???? T_____T Can't you see we're not in uniform? So you know we work here, doesn't mean you can interupt my dinner!!!! I only have fifty-five minutes! Unpaid!
And others who.. are just too... -.- to mention.
Gah! I hate, hate them all. *especially* those with snark. And sarcasm. God, just because I work there doesn't mean I magically know of the existence of every item in the store (we turned out not to have the item, which was a brush for the vacuum cleaner, whut?)
And I can't be sarcastic back, because I'm working. Damn you all.
And the black hairband I wanted to buy sold out. Stupid customers. T__T
I'm going to try and sew a skirt tomorrow. I'll buy the fabric from Daiso, because I feel weird asking for only 1 yard if I buy from chinatown. lol.
My brother is essentially fine, but doctors play safe and want him to remain one more day. More money gone. There's nothing wrong with him. He just has a headache, cough, you know... all the symptoms I have right now, except apparently his is more serious. -.- once he's in the hospital, my parents really couldn't care if I'm unwell.
I went to see him again, but not tomorrow, since I *need* my shopping fix. I spend too much money. *sigh*
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Hello, my darlings. I've been too busy and tired to use the computer. Like, seriously.
I went back to work yesterday. It felt great! All the irritating customers, all the adorable staff, even getting reprimanded, I miss it all. I miss displaying goods, running for the cashier bell, eating the cup noodle plus Gulp combo from 7-11.
So this means having a break will let me enjoy my work more
I feel really really sad that I have to stop working soon. T__T I want to go on. =//
But there was this really crazay auntie yesterday. Whom I *must* rant about one day.
For now, I visited my brother before work yesterday. Since SGH is at Outram, it's only one mrt stop from Harbourfront, so it's fine. =// I walked around for ages before getting to the right block.
He can barely move, I think. =/ When I got there, he was picking at his porridge, but my mum tells me he hadn't eaten anything for two days before that.
I brought a baguette! So I gave him a piece. He didn't talk much. I don't quite know why, and I didn't actually feel sad or anything, but a tear or two might have come out, o.OOO Those needles stuck into his hand looked scary. And there are two tubes, and one is red. =/ Blood. He told me it was because of something my mum did that blood got into the tube. I didn't really catch it because he was speaking reallly softly.
If I can manage my stuff in time (send my enrolment forms! Poly enrolment process is a pain. A big fat pain.)I'll go to see him again today.
The president of Daiso is coming over today, I think. Together with the founder of Daiso. !
Oh yeah, this is for Melo, since I can't grab her at all online. =/ I thought like mentioning I'm changing 'Hiroyuki' to 'Hirotake'. Because the former is too feminine.
No time to read all the manga!
And the doctors at SGH.
-.-
They're basically putting up a show for us because they don't know what's wrong with him. They took an xray of his stomach yesterday. Whut? The stomach, as far as I know, is a muscle. You don't take xrays of muscles, because you don't get anything! Xrays are for *bones*
-.-
That's partly the reasoning behind my pursuing medical stuff. So I will know about doctors and they'll never be able to cheat me. >.< We are too vulnerable without knowledge. Knowledge is a power we *must* have.
Let's hope everything comes okay.
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my brother was hospitalised today.
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I wanted to scold my brother for being late, but he's very sick. >.< Too bad. Have to scold him another time.
I reprimanded my mother for taking my cream OUT of the fridge.
what what what.
Most mums help their kids put their dairy products IN the fridge. Who takes it out? It's spoilt now. Argh! My chocolate truffle recipe!
didImentionI'mgoingtomaketrufflesto-day?
Oh wait. I *was* going to make truffles today.
Hm.
Omg. =/ Yesterday I bought clothes from Bega. "cause it was at that nice open space next to the Coffee Bean where I was teaching Sandra to knit.
And someclotheslookedreallynice.
And they were at like, Bugis Street prices! (10-15 dollars)
so I succumbed to temptation and bought three shirts.
After I got home I tore off the discount tags, and realised that the original prices were crazy.
Wayyyy crazy. o.O The kind of price I'd pay for a dress, maybe, but never a top.
By this I mean 36-39 dollars.
o.OOO That's more than the most expensive dress I own. =/ My cheapest dress is 15 dollars, and the most expensive one is around thirty.
So I basically paid 10 dollars for a 39 dollar shirt. 15 for a 39 dollar blouse. And 15 for a 36 dollar shirt plus deco.
andIdidn'trealiseittillIgothome.
o.OOOOOOO I wanted to buy more clothes but I was afraid I was spending too much at one go (though there were some painfully nice blouses. But I didn't choose them because they were 19 dollars, four dollars more than my usual budget. Yes, my budget per piece is 15 dollars.)
Sandra bought a dress for 33 dollars. =/ Original price was 60+
I think. Or was it 80?
We should go to sales more often. =DDD
And then we went to NTUC where I showed off my 'auntie' spirit by taking the juice at the back of the shelf instead of the front just because the expiry was 2nd april instead of 30 march. T___T I'm too auntie. T____T I'm too old!
Paid by nets. Gosh. Paying by nets is scary. I don't feel the heartpain even when I spend more than a hundred dollars. Maybe I shouldn't have a nets card. I'll never get a credit card. DD:
bought the instant cake mix. Because Sandra said it was good. And I wanted to see how much easier it is using an instant mix rather than doing everything from scratch like I usually do.
I'm still shocked by how much the tops cost originally. Like, who would pay that kind of money? (But apparently they do, because I see loads of aunties shop at Bega when it's *not* on sale.) the colours Bega has can get really garish. =/ Which is probably why I zoomed in on the monotone grey and blacks.
What I really want is plain, long sleeved, black clothing. I could wear no other colour but black every day of my life and be contented.
But my mum still doesn't let me wear black.
curses! =DDD
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My dad was arguing with my grandmother. My grandmother is one of those really nutty devout catholics. She says that no single cathollic has ever killed anyone, or stolen anything, or done anything wrong.
And then she told my dad that the PAP were all catholics.
Instead of just shutting up, patting her on the shoulder and smiling like everyone else does, he *had* to tell her she was wrong. >.<
And then my grandmother accused him of blasphemy. Because he said that catholics have killed people before. (So true.)
Of course, you can see from this that she hasn't ever read the Bible. All those times when God purportedly brought the people to victory in wars...
To win that war, they had to kill so many people. Albeit it was the 'enemy', but you know what? I'm not from Israel. We the chinese would probably be the 'enemy' in those times too. It was so stupid. They saw the good, fertile land, and they said God promised them to land, so they killed the people that were living in that land to take it.
How could that possibly be right?
My father told my grandmother that humans have no right or wrong. No one is right, and no one is wrong. But I think differently. I think humans are never right. We are only wrong. The only difference between our actions is how much more wrong it can get. But everything we do is selfish and wrong, wrong, wrong. If we thought every action through to the long term, even donating to charity could have harmful effects.
But we just don't think these things through, do we?
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I'm actually mildly unwell. I have on and off feverish moments. There are times when my eyes black out/blur and it takes seconds to regain proper eyesight. Also, sometimes when I'm standing, my legs don't have the strength anymore, and I must sit down. Sore throat has been plaguing me for days. Hot weather, I suppose. I'm really fearful of swings in temperature. Should ever a climate change like one that wiped out the dinosaurs happen, I'd be the first human to fall. Since I have zero adaptibility and tolerance to hardship. Like, you know those people who are rescued from collapsed buildings have to drink their own urine and stuff? I'd never be able to do that, so I'd just die.
not to mention that these rescued people have amazingly strong willpower to live. Recently I was thinking that dying isn't so bad. There was a line in the latest Artemis Fowl that I liked (though I liked little else. I'm still cringing at the contradictory elements. Eoin Colfer should go back and read his previous book. Altogether the AF series is becoming like the bible - the front contradicts the back and it's all messed up.) it was something like 'when you are about to die, it doesn't matter how many people want to kill you'. Not verbatim. I can't quite recall the exact words.
A while back though, I was feeling a pretty strong desire to live. Particularly the line from Lion 'I want to live' struck a chord, but now it's getting very tiring. I think life is tiring. There's not a day I don't feel tired, and generally my posts begin or end, or mention somewhere that I'm tired.
Everyone is tired, no?
I always feel so irritated when I hear this song in Daiso. It's sung by a guy or something, and he says 'No one know how it feels, to be hated, to be fated, to telling only lies' and 'to be the bad man, sad man'.
-.-
you think you have it so hard? Ohhhh NO ONE KNOWS WHAT IT'S LIKE. BECAUSE YOUR LIFE IS SOOOO SAD. Get over yourself already.
why would you be the only that that is hated? Do you even know or care how many people know what it's like to be hated - everyone??
geez. And if you keep telling lies, it seems to me it must be your own fault - since you're the one saying it. It's your -choice-, and you always have a choice. You could tell the truth or tell lies, but it's not -fated- because you -choose- to do so. Fate didn't choose for you, you did for yourself.
"no one knows what it's like to be mistreated, to be defeated'.
hahahahahaha.
o.OOO
o.OOOOO
*kills songwriter*
He probably wrote this reading some emo story and thought hm, let's write an emo song about how I'm the only one who ever loses, I'm the only one who's ever been mistreated in this damn beautiful fairytale world.
And then after he finished writing it, he rode off in his Ferrari to some club to party the night away boozing. And woke up the next morning with some hot chick in bed.
insincere brats.
die in a fire, die in a fire, die in a fire.
And then let all your money go to charity.
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I'll just note that I made multiple very very serious errors that could have caused much trouble to my co-workers and I broke two items. I did say sorry, but I didn't actually make a 'proper' apology, because I'm too stupid to figure out what to do in time, and just stand there helplessly. I don't have the capability of a normal person, and I'm overall just dead weight.
today, I'll focus on practising my cello.
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Two things I wanted to buy from Daiso were sold out.
There's not a lot of stuff to look forward. What I do have is routine, and it takes up enough of my attention to stop thinking about how useless thinking is. I still dream, a little. But I'm giving up my ambitions one by one. It seems the older I grow, the more faraway and out of reach they become. Sometimes, if I have time to stone, I see myself doing what I wanted to do, and being happy. And then, stoning time over, I go on doing what I am, nothing.
I wish, from time to time, that I didn't have these dreams. Sometimes they seem like it could still come true. If I was really really lucky - and who knows? But it's not going to happen. I've never gotten what I really wanted, and I don't think I will start to now.
these hopes and dreams of mine can stay locked away in a little wooden box in my mind.
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Working is certainly stressing out my life at the moment. =/ but that's probably because of my ridiculous work shifts. The night before I couldn't sleep because everytime I closed my eyes, I was seized by a strong conviction that I was in Daiso and needed to return goods NOW.
nightmare. =/
But I'm settling into it, and it's my regret that I cannot stay. T^T And I do feel like I'm letting them down since I did say that I could stay for three months (I must resign by two months and three weeks because SP doesn't allow me to work and school starts on the 19th of April).
Technically I'm only 1 week short. But still. DDDD: I hope hope hope that I won't be too embarassed to shop at the Vivo Daiso after this.
On a happier note, I'm going to shop at Daiso today! My off day has finally come. In fact, the most annoying thing about working at Daiso is that you get to see so many things you wanna buy but can't buy them. T___T Until your off day and by that time, it's usually SOLD OUT.
Ribbon hairband... *sobs*
Fiqah is leaving also. I thought that she would be working till July (that's when school starts for her) so DDD: So many unhappy things happening. Sigh.
But Kirere is kind of worse off because when we're all gone she'll still be there. Admittedly there's always the senior staff. But...
I didn't tell my parents, but I asked to take part in the stock-taking. o.OOO That's the midnight shift. That is.. you work from ten pm to 6am (the next week there is the daytime shift, but I don't think they want me to take part in that.)counting counting counting.
I know it will be fun but tiring because there's going to be so many people (hired for the sole reason of stocktaking...)
They will mind, but I want to have my way. =/ (I mean, when Renyi goes to chalet they don't sleep at all either.)
Today I am happy!
Because after cello lesson I'm going to Daiso and Chinatown with Sandra, whom I miss seeing very much. Hello are you reading this!! *waves*
: even if I can call you/text you/talk on msn, meeting up is 同じじゃない
I'm kind of glad I got the piece down for cello. My teacher said last week that if I can't play it there's no use going on to learn other stuff. So I've been diligently practising... half an hour a day. Except for wednesday when my strings when terribly out of tune and it took me forever to tune them.
(I was afraid of snapping them because cello strings are *very* *very* expensive.)
I now have rashes on both legs, arms, and my eczema is serious. >.< I don't know what's happening! They look terrible, so it's a good thing my job forces me to wear long pants.
My dad said it's because I ate too much chicken and I'm allergic to chicken.
I don't know where that came from.=/// I've always been eating chicken. But he says the toxins accumulated slowly in my body until it's breaking out now.
so...
no more chicken? Wahhhhhhhhh~~~~
Aki has a new manga! Even though she's a female, I will always refer to her as he. >.< Because the art and story feels like it's drawn by a guy. idk! I downloaded it on RAR but the RAR extractor won't work for me so I can't read it. DDD:
Speaking of Aki, I converted one more person to like him - awin-chan~~~ Because he's just so cool.
^oh look. I'm using the masculine pronoun again.
Is this because almost all the characters in his manga are male? Perhaps. Yeah. n___n"
Melo....JY... JW..
once everyone goes to JC they are suddenly unavailable and cannot speak to me on msn or go online or go shopping?
o.OOO
I knew we'd drift apart. >.<
I already told you so.
but now it's happening I feel =/
sometimes you guys are online, but when I say 'hi' nooooo replyyyy
very few people reply, actually. Especially those I don't know well but added me on msn anyway. And in the end choose not to reply to my hello.
I don't want to lj-cut this because it's my only long post in quite some time. =) Here it goes
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the little boy was eating strawberry flavoured Yan Yan biscuit.. it's a kind of biscuit that comes with strawberry cream and you dip the biscuit into it.
then his mum gave me the items to count.
As I touched the second item, I winced. It was cold, and sticky. And it was strawberry cream. I surreptitiously wiped it off on the soft ball that they also purchased, trying not to grimace.
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The infuriating thing is, after 72 minutes... I have to load the video all over again! And then the connection problem message just keeps showing up *gahhhh*
And all hidamari sketch videos subbed in english are on megavideo. So I haven't been able to watch any. T____T although I can get bits and pieces from youtube.
the solution: watch 'em chinese subbed on youku.
sigh.
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DDD:
But the cashier I was assisting is very nice. And understanding even if I do really stupid stuff. And we can all get irritated with people who ask for extra plastic bags though they don't need them.
And some people think they can just tell me how much everything costs or count for me. -.- or while I'm counting, repeat the number in japanese - think you are so smart? hahahaha. I have a job. Just because you tell me it's eight dollars doesn't mean I won't count it all over again for you, so save yourself the trouble. I mean, what, you think I"m allowed to let customers tell me how much things cost? o.OOO
And during shutter lock some people actually *laugh* at me when I tell them to have a good night and see you again.
whut. -,- but nvm, customer is always right. Even if they are jabbering away mocking me in chinese because they think I don't understand chinese, I must smile and nod at them.
very tired. But I like it in some ways, even if I complain a lot. the atmosphere is hectic but kind of warm and family like in a way. Everyone knows everyone else. Even the morning staff know the afternoon and vice versa.
eto... I want to finish writing the christmas messages to the forumers. But it seems I must postpone it even further. I procrastinate too much. But in the end, I wonder if it matters?
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at the busstop, I heard a PRC national talking about how her purse was returned to her after she lost it with everything inside untouched, mone, handphone and all. The person who found her purse contacted her by looking through the numbers in her handphone and calling her friends to tell them her purse was with them.
o.OO And then she said 'how silly Singaporeans are'(To return her the purse without taking her money).
o.OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
work was tiring, of course... it never is anything other than tiring.I got to do shutter lock, and started it earlier this time so the customers didn't come pouring in. It seems that Ming Ngam broke the key yesterday and they replaced the locks and keys, so there are now two keys, one for each of the locks.
this new laptop is seriously seriously annoying!! When I'm typing, it lags so I can't see if there are any typos, and there's no flashing line so I can see where I'm typing at. Moving the screen up and down is also vexing.
But it's mine, and it's pretty.... I think it must have been expensive as well. Tsk. Then why are the programs so hard to use? (not to mention in chinese, which I still have difficulty reading in huge chunks of text.
Poly will be starting soon. I'm not entirely looking forward to it, but let's face it, I look forward to precious little nowadays. Maybe I don't want myself to look forward to anything.
hmm... I shall apply for french lessons tomorrow... Kirere became a part timer today. And my cello teacher is still using weird analogies to explain why, exactly, I am unable to perform a certain task on the cello. He told me to cook with my left hand. >.< I don't want this kind of weird example and explanation. It's not even logic, so. Just stick to the cello, I say.
I was happy that another chapter of Akagami came out... albeit a really short one.
Maybe tomorrow will be a nicer day.
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I was typing it on my new laptop, and then I clicked something wrong and bang, post gone. And lj doesn't bother to give me the 'do you want your last saved post' pop up, so. Yeah.
gah!!!
So a brief recap of what I typed....
My mum thinks I speak too politely with her, and I should speak to her not as a friend but as family.
But she reprimands the use of fuck, suck, sucker, bloody and damn.
Not to mention thinks of the use of colloquial terms as insulting and rude.
I went with pearl to register for french lessons yesterday, but the alliance place was closed. Sigh. Going again tomorrow.
Starting March I'm slashing my work week to three days, since it's really taking a toll on me.
---
I typed a lot more but you know.. once some things are gone they don't come back.
I'm turning into a really mindless creature. I live on the drug called caffeine.
Sandra once said dying isn't so bad. It's just like going to sleep. And sleep is very comfortable. So you sleep for a very long time. When she first said that, I was afraid. I didn't want myself or anyone I knew to think about morbid stuff like death. But you know.. she's right. I don't think I'm afraid to die anymore. I didn't want these things I feel and know to end. But there are always so many problems. Too many problems. It seems that I will never be able to rest in peace. Once we die, everything ends. Maybe it's scary that it's the absolute end, and there won't be anything after that. But also... maybe it's also better that way. I feel that if I have to carry on I will go mad. I don't have the energy to see this through.
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I had to ask how to open the fridge to check for water. Again.
sigh.
Now I know how to write off damaged items and do cashier counting, but I still get really nervous and uncomfortable, since I'm afraid of doing something wrong. When I write off items, I take out my notebook, and do it step by step according to what's written down there. =D Since the stuff is written in japanese and I can't read it, have to be sure I'm writing the info in the right place.
Displaying is like.. no longer hard. They stopped putting impossible timings on me. So, the hard stuff is still the new stuff and customer service...
Speaking of customer service. There was a really weird guy who asked me for the person in charge of the fabric department. o.OOO
so I just said 'If you have any questions, you can just ask me."
but nooo.
"No, no, you're a part timer right?"
me: *nods*
"Then go ask the girl in charge to come here."
whaaaat?? >.< So because I work part time I am unfit to answer his queries???
It turns out that he also asked Ria and Fiqah to get him the person in charge. XDDD And then we grabbed a full timer to explain it to him.
All he wanted to ask was 'do you have this tie in a greener shade?'
gosh. If he'd asked *any* one of us, we could have told him the answer that he got.
NO.
... tsk. That's what you get for looking down on part timers. ;)
I mean, what did you expect? We aren't Robinsons. There's only so many shades of ties Daiso could possibly sell.
I think people come to a two dollar shop with wayyyy too high expectations. There was a guy who came up to me, pointed at his belt and asked for a belt in that exact shade. o.OO
ehh. ehhh. uhh. no?
so tired.
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